The M3 Bearcast from Male Media Mind
The M3 Bearcast from Male Media Mind
Attraction, Judgement, and Social Expectations w Greg
What if you found yourself swept up in a wave of attraction towards someone behind bars, someone who has committed acts you find abhorrent? Just as perplexing is the public uproar over a group of smartly dressed black men. Accompany your hosts, Malcolm Travers and Mr Draven, as we peel back the layers of societal judgment and personal attraction, sharing our own experiences and perspectives on this unexpectedly controversial topic.
Between deciphering the drama of dating in the gay and straight communities, to the drawing of battle lines between introversion and extroversion, we find ourselves caught in the crossfire of societal expectations. We explore the impact of gay culture evolution on relationships, from the triumph of gay marriage to the concept of 'fabulousness'. We also grapple with the role of Virgos as fixers in relationships, and how introversion shapes our social interactions.
As we age, we all confront health issues and their impact on our daily lives. We share our experiences dealing with vertigo, a dizzying condition that can turn your world upside down. Our conversation shapes around future plans and aspirations, the desire to influence younger generations positively, and our continued commitment to our podcast. Join us on this journey and make sure to check out our other shows on Male Media Mine on YouTube and Facebook. This thought-provoking, insightful, and sometimes controversial conversation awaits.
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Hello and welcome to the M3 Bearcast. My name is Malcolm Travers and I'm joined here with the talented Mr Draven. What's going on, greg? So here's the question that I asked, or that someone asked, and you can answer and see if we get your audio. If you were to name the three people you were most attracted to, or three people when you say you're attracted to them, what percentage of those are? If it was any number of people, because it doesn't have to be three what would you say is a percentage of people you're attracted to for physical reasons versus other reasons?
Speaker 2:Typically speaking, For me it's going to be mostly other reasons, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that is something that I'm working on right now is I'm getting my room together. I am looking for a monitor stand that can hold double monitors so I can have my game on this side and my computer on this side and the camera right in the middle.
Speaker 2:I'm working on how you look when you're playing. You look disengaged.
Speaker 1:I just want you to be yeah, it's always like that Because you're going to be Game in your own app.
Speaker 3:No, I'm saying like.
Speaker 1:I don't do that anymore, unless we're on the M3 Gaming Devons show. Yeah, because I'm usually am disengaged and I'm playing the game and he's also talking about games. What's interesting also is when we did some research, we found out that a lot of people who listen to his show are also playing games at the same time.
Speaker 2:I did tell you I popped in some day.
Speaker 1:Oh, I did not know that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm doing some M3 research, so I popped in. Yeah, that's good. No, and I need to make sure that he's paying attention to the people that chime in, because he was. I called him one time yeah, you don't do those things, I do and literally he left me sitting there for the comment, was there for 10 minutes and I'm going to say when is he? And they had passed the topic. And so they were like, yeah, and Greg said I'm like then I said no, you need to respond.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I'm such a. I am such a manager, I'm under that. I'm sorry, that's just my life from such a manager.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's start on our first topic and then I'll get into a little more details. So one of the things I think about when I play these videos is I'm not necessarily responding directly to the video. I'm trying to think of other topics that come up and how it would relate to other people on the panel based on this video. So video is about a man who received a lot of attention even though he's incarcerated for his physical appearance, and the question is why do people do? This is the second question is like the criticism of people being attracted to someone. Is that legit? Because to me it sounds a little hollow.
Speaker 4:Think about some of those questions as we watch it and then we'll talk about it Recently came across a tweet where this individual shared pictures of her cousin, who was incarcerated and currently serving a life sentence. In the comments section under this tweet, the thirst was real. Some were asking for the cousin's relationship status and, more off, rip. I felt the energy was misplaced. No matter how attractive a person is, if they commit horrible acts, we shouldn't glorify them. That's just my opinion, and for those who might say people in the comments were joking, I pushed back. Y'all do remember Jeremy Meeks right.
Speaker 4:Going further, I'd like to compare the thirst over this cousin with many comments I saw made about a viral video of numerous black men and boys wearing suits that I saw some time ago. Many criticized the video, calling it performative and saying the imagery wasn't necessarily positive. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but I ask why are we hyping up a black man incarcerated for seemingly vile acts while tearing down a collective of black men who came together to showcase unity and dress well? Why do some people villainize a harmless display while uplifting someone who they know harmed others? This sends mixed messages and, to me, needs to stop this thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's an interesting topic Because, for one, I don't think that there is a right or wrong answer. I think the fact is, if you're going to talk about a large group of people looking at a single thing, we're going to see it differently. The question is what is the prevailing narrative?
Speaker 4:Well, you know, you see this man.
Speaker 1:You see this young man who is serving a life prison sentence. You assume that he's guilty. Like questions about his innocence or guilt or, beside the point, he's being convicted. And you have issues. I would say the author has issues with him being honored in that way for his physical attractiveness, even though has a gay man who finds other men attractive, Like he's objectively an attractive human right.
Speaker 2:I disagree with his face.
Speaker 1:I don't find them attractive, so I like the old, I guess I can't see that well either, and I don't care about that. Let's just talk about the rest of them, I know.
Speaker 2:We all saw Jeremy Meeks, the life-saving Green Odd fellow. Remember when we had the topic on my show about? I have the person that inboxed me. They seem to not seem to. They like prisoners. They made prisoners all the goddamn time and you like yo. What the fuck is the deal with you? And it was my synopsis that you liked the prisoners because they were unavailable.
Speaker 1:I think we did come to that conclusion because once they became available, there wasn't much of a relationship to be had, really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, on both ends, Because once they. Now you got to put a person that's incarcerated. You have to become super lover, and for the person that was not incarcerated, you had to take care of the brown ass. Now it's this motherfucker ain't got nothing in life. Yeah, Let me start off by saying black people are not monolithic in our beliefs. Okay, but we do pride. We say living in the hood is keeping it real or somehow we are.
Speaker 1:It's desirable for many people.
Speaker 2:Because we're both trying to get their way out. Is it one of those things that that's keeping it real? No matter what he did, he died for life.
Speaker 1:He's keeping it real. One of the things the author said was that he got a lot of pushback in the comments, that people said that they were just joking, he's cute. Whatever, they wouldn't actually do this in real life. The funny thing is to me is when anyone ever says something's just a joke, the next question would be then why is the joke funny? Because the joke is funny, because it rings true. That's usually when things are hilarious, is it's the unexpected truth comes from a jarring surprise, usually something like that. You just say the fucking thing out loud. So the reason why people find it hilarious that they say daddy, whatever the comments, is because they know that people really behave that way. I'm not saying all those people would, but it's not.
Speaker 2:Yes, but he also played now in the comments. I would imagine there were many women, correct?
Speaker 1:I think it was mostly women, but maybe probably some men. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I actually don't know. Oh, for some reason, when niggas go to jail and I do mean that was not a fraudulent slip America, but when they just go to jail, somehow being incarcerated is romanticized, I don't know how, and it's in jail and they probably get done up in the butt, but for some reason, whatever it is is considered the height of masculinity. If you did a bid, you must be the most masculine brother in the world. No, because it's good that you take it as bad and not saying that you can't be masculine. I don't want to be.
Speaker 2:I think it's one of those situations that we feel like like police officers we have, like all police officers are going to run in and save your kitty cat and sweep you off your feet and fuck you till you die and do the same thing. So I think it's more of a fantasy situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was thinking about this. In what ways do you think gay men and straight men are different? Do specifically to who and how we're attracted to our partners. It's such a weird question. I remember when you were thinking about having a straight guy on and asking questions about it. I think my question was, like are straight people friends? First, is that like a thing people do? And I'm curious as to like how our attraction changes our worldview on other things, because I was just thinking about the prisoner attraction or whatever. I think there's a calculus to be made in supply and demand for one. I thought about that too, not just who we're attracted to, but how limited a supply You're talking about.
Speaker 2:That's a really straight guy. Let me just First of all, women date with intention. This is new for gay men because we're only a decade into gay marriage. So the women for centuries have been dating with intention. Little girls, you have Barbie bride and Barbie in the kitchen and Barbie on the Barbie. I mean it's for a long time before women's aberration and all those good things came along. Women were groomed to find a husband and they would go to college to find a husband. They would educate themselves just to find a husband. They would go to these finishing. My mother got arrested when she was finishing school. She would go up and had a book on her head, proper etiquette. All of them to be 17 to move back to the South, that 17 to marry a no good motherfucker.
Speaker 1:I thought about the women's clubs that my grandmother was a part of still exists, as crazy as it is the Southern Women's Club Association, where that's exactly all they did was Homemaking tips and stuff like that, which they were absolutely proud of, and I'm sure they did a lot more than just that, but still, but it's focused on homemaking.
Speaker 2:So if you went to the Jack and Jill Cotil, I haven't personally, but I know that. Yeah, like that was a highlight of your maybe 1560. Yeah, I was like skating in the South, so I went to the Cotil more than once.
Speaker 1:But they tried to drag me to it. I never did go.
Speaker 2:I know they did. What was your grandmother's name? Leola Grandbaby. They said, ok, go on over and get Leola Grandbaby. He's about 16, 17 now. On the paper bags as he passes it's going to be because little baby boy Malcolm needs to be somebody in this society and so make sure he's the right. Call yeah on this business and do this particular thing. Attraction is weird. Yeah, you're attracted to the weird things because Because so book is absolutely a matter, let's just call it better to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, men are is a yo is a prime example of Yo like weird shit that they are all these weird groups and so you know, you know walking off topics and people because people are inviting me to these weird groups, so my people or persons I will invite is there's a group of people that are looking for marriage? Yeah, I've been thrown into this group. I don't know who said that. Yeah, I'm looking back to them. They're gonna go to doing this diet situation. But no, I am. I'm looking at myself in two different cameras. Look at myself on the phone.
Speaker 4:I am.
Speaker 2:Awful today, yo, it's no, no shave. November can't come to a quick. I have already come and blurred how you doing, man, thank you. Thank you so much. Well, I just cannot wait. In fact, soon as we finish, I'm going to make my Current meant to the people. But yeah, but, people like people looking scruffy, people like people are getting married. There's a feed contingency, contingency. But what the difference between, what I believe, straight people and gay people, or women and straight men and gay men? Okay, wait, I just say this in public. So, listen, women are really, women are easy, men are hard. I'm just. It was, it's today If I decided that I want to go back over the tracks and get I will be married by the by New Year's Day, because I would meet this poor woman, I would woo her by calling her every day, texting her every day.
Speaker 2:You know my mind. I wanted, I want to have a life with you, especially she's over 40. She got no kids. She might got like two, one or two eggs left me and so that. But men, so men, that they men is fucking ridiculous. Yeah, makes it ridiculous. Oh, I know this shirt is so, yo, first of all, you got to figure out dynamics of the relationship. Who's gonna be the king? It was gonna be the prince Dween, yeah, and then you get mad cuz he's not treating you. Have you ever with someone? Because you you felt like they didn't treat you as as a full masculine partner.
Speaker 1:Hmm, yeah, nothing. This was because I was dating a guy who, just I, was the second Guy that he's dated, like he was in his late 20s and he'd only dated women up until me and one previous guy. We went out on our first date he brought me a bouquet of roses and a card. They were nice. I gave them to my mom but I was just like what are we giving a guy flowers, like I? My mom enjoyed them very much. But yeah, I think there's a script that straight people are following. Hopefully a lot of them enjoy the benefits of that narrative.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of people are disenchanted by they go their own way, like the rebels. I know that some of them are rebels and then they go into their own, near their own path through life, like it's not necessarily college relationship, kids, mortgage, whatever. It's A discovery process for them. So they may not. I know a lot of straight guys who are now Getting into that more traditional area of their life. In their 40s they completely overlooked in their 20s and 30s, like later in life, they're discovering that they want kids, that they want a more traditional path, but they enjoy the freedom of being single and I think that was pretty good and I think that's the calculus. I think that's just majorly different For gay people and straight people say it's a lot, it's a lot more the reason women are so much easier, in my guess considering that I don't Data Exactly one woman, I in my life, right, and she was pretty awesome but I think the difference is that women, like you said, are pressured and socialized and I think are Just situationally inclined to want to get married, because being single is a burden, having a child out of marriage is difficult, the just the financial Idea of trying to raise a kid with or without a father who's either capable or interested in raising a child.
Speaker 1:So that just the calculus is different for a single woman just trying to hook up. So it makes a lot of sense that if you put out in front of her the possibility of commitment, they're gonna jump. And I think there's plenty of straight men who use that to their advantage To lie or at least insinuate that they would be interested in commitment when they're not, whereas with gay men it's got to be difficult to convince us To give all those benefits up. If you live in a large city I should say I don't, but if you live in a large city. You just have a nearly endless supply.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you are not gonna say anything that contradicts what you said, but I'm just Look, one of the reasons because you don't have those Right. You know you'd like you don't have to worry about pregnancy. Every baby's in this taller today. You know me. Yeah, he goes to the bathroom. He gets rid of the baby's in the same. You know I mean yeah, all to the next good time. And so traditionally gay men have been without. You didn't have to be Responsible. Yeah, so with it. So it was a progression. He's an HIV came along. That added some Account accountability to your video. Wasn't enough, I mean yeah.
Speaker 2:They had to make you die.
Speaker 1:You know me for you to be accountable, or or in a serious amount of pain, like with monkeypox. People got this shit together real fast with that.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, did you see those posts? Oh my god, I think I ran out, wasn't even active. I ran out and nigga give me, I don't want to bump up against nobody to get this. Oh, and I think so, the progression was HIV. So then we had first time we had to change the way that we date and socialize, because the gay hands, yeah, the blowjob, and you ask a jerk, and all so that we have to to now communicate to each other what is your world, what is your status?
Speaker 2:And so getting into each other status is you? Then you had to get to know a little bit about I'm off, I go, so my name is great. It's not a fucking them in the for you of your house and giving them a paper towel that you put on the couch. Yeah, a little bit. You know me. I'm negative. Are you positive? And then get the gay marriage came along. It's been the intention. Now we had a full generation of adults that that's all they know is that I can get married into whatever I want.
Speaker 2:Yeah so now they're starting to I dare not say date like women, but the pressure is there and the it's all I've been noticing in this group that these cats on their late 20s, man and whatever gay biological cloth they have, that shit is ticking my nigga. What's your name, yeah. What was your GPA? Because now they're auditioning Power time. A kid with me, yeah, you know like, oh, I know some lesbians they carry, they will carry a kid for me. I'm like dude, you didn't even know my middle name and I'm a journalistic integrity, that's pretty good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now we all know one second, let me get this stuff. Step three is now. We have again, we have a generation that's now focused on we can get married. We don't know anything else. We don't know anything politics thing, remember. This is the problem. We won't be weighed In the why. It's gonna haunt people forever. It's the same thing with gay marriage. You not not take it back now. You know me, because a generation of they were little when they got it, when they started into the dating pool. They're not. It's amazing to see these little young gay cats. They have houses and dogs. I'm I've got babies, I'm in a group of gay parents and, like you, having all kind of conversations on things I never think I would see in my life. Yeah, see, but the dad's here go back to answer your question. It's very similar now. It's there's really no definitive live of dating a woman and dating a man. Really, for the mix of it's all getting to be the same.
Speaker 2:You know saying is why do they hear them Monday, is that one?
Speaker 1:Oh no, this is coffee. I I actually got a cappuccino, but I do have one. I had a delivery. Yeah, I'm looking forward to transforming my room. I gotta get Some help with that.
Speaker 2:So okay, why we're talking when they go to Angie and look at handyman and they let you pick. You can get some ten dollars an hour. Twelve dollars an hour, we might worry about the dresser, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm ready to get some shit together, get my shit together, but oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Get back to the thing about attraction. I think there was a book I read some years ago. It was called. It was called gay spirituality and it was just basically Outlining some of the ways in which gay people see the world differently and it may influence the way that we express ourselves in other ways. And I was wondered I will get your input on this. Fabulousness, fabulousness. Where does this come from in the gay community? Why are gay men so attracted to aesthetic?
Speaker 2:beauty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like either in their physical form, their body, their fashion, where they look, the way their house is, the way their ocean or whatever, like we just care about aesthetics, it's cultural.
Speaker 2:You, a gay man, put your shit together. You know what I mean. We are cultivated to have style Queer out for the straight guy. You know what I mean Black homo for the mo. But yeah, we are expected. It has been proven time and time again. We are the pupils of culture and our society. We are Broadway actors, we are models. We are which is, a high bar man, because I'm a lazy, hairy motherfucker, it's not. I gotta get somebody else to pick my clothes off, my sister's head on match.
Speaker 1:I've thought about that too. When I'm doing the M3 Instagram, for instance, and I'm picking people for my page, I often feel like this for, say, political correctness have all body types and all shapes and skin tones and everything. Now I definitely make sure to not eliminate anyone and I try to be as inclusive as possible but also recognize that there are gradations of like attractiveness right, you can be a certain Hard. Isn't it?
Speaker 2:hard.
Speaker 1:Isn't it?
Speaker 2:hard, you trying to include everybody. I never do, I can't.
Speaker 1:I can't. That's definitely why I stopped trying and trying to be more open. I go to the edges of what I find attractive, but ultimately I recognize that I have to post it for me. These are things that I enjoy celebrating as being attractive, and I recognize that not everyone's gonna find this attractive as well.
Speaker 2:What can I find? Can I share with you, though? Sure, honestly so. I'm. You are the creator of M3, of a second man down, but even in your apps I tell you this all the time this is not necessarily my vision, and I try to live your vision. You know what I mean, because I was brought into something that I did not create. So if I were you because this is all your vision it wouldn't necessarily I would have to do that to create, to cultivate things. That would be your vision. You know what I'm saying. I always have to keep that in mind. I have to tell other hosts on my network. You know what I mean. Be fucking mindful. But if I were you, I would just be with the firelight.
Speaker 1:That's true, I overthink everything. It's true, and that's the thing. That's where I'm at. I haven't posted in months and I was just like I'm just gonna post what I want, I'm not gonna think about anything else.
Speaker 2:The M and M3 substantial model. Yeah, pretty much. I don't know, true, or doodling, and oh, we're talking about it Because I often and I don't know how you see this, but I often push your vision. This is your vision Even when you're on vacation. When you're out, it is people hate me yeah. Think other guests, other hosts find me overbearing.
Speaker 1:I don't know it's OK. Yeah, it's necessary. I think at some point, if you are too laxical, people think they can get away with everything and I think there has to be at some point someone to say, no, yeah, I just feel like, including myself.
Speaker 2:You have given us and I'm going to give you a flower while you're here so you have given us an incredible opportunity and you're very, not pushy about your vision, so that gives you an opportunity to be creative. But there is a way to be creative in the box of someone else's vision. It's like you can create A show, but it must adhere to the NBC standards or the CBS standards or the ABC standards, and this time slot needs to be family friendly. That's why most of our shows accept mine and start after seven or after.
Speaker 2:But the reason mine does not because I have this.
Speaker 2:Saturday time slot. So if I was before seven during the week I would definitely be. I would definitely curse less Real quick, I'm sorry, because I heard from somebody. They were like Greg, watch you curse a lot. I was like there's no people. Isn't it a sign that you're not intelligent? I was like, listen, no, it's not, because the talented Mr Drake and Greg are not the same person. Why it's you? How can you say that? No, I don't necessarily believe what he believes. You know what I mean. Some of that. Sometimes I get impassioned when I'm here to entertain, here to invoke. You can test what I've learned when you want to inform them Because they don't want to be involved.
Speaker 3:Oh, don't.
Speaker 1:You know what's interesting for me? I think I see it as a journey of exploration of different topics, and I'm exploring for myself as well as the audience. So I figure the audience can come along with me. But I'm honestly intrigued as to why gay men behave the way we do, and it's obviously not everyone. But yeah, I know it's just. It's actually fun to do, to come up with theories. I know that none of them are right. I'm curious as to what other people's observation are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's laid back. As you are, you care about certain homosexual things? Yeah, I do. You pick your hair, you wash your face, Make sure your clothes are? Yeah, and it's like this whole month I've been really concerned about the way I look. I look terrible. I say it every day and they might. Oh no, your beard's full. You look great. That's a little salt and pepper. No, this is salt. We clear. But so that culturally, I am in a community that aesthetics mean a lot. And then I don't know if the audience knows, but we're both kind of unicorns and where we live in this community because we're both attractive disabled people. So yeah and that's.
Speaker 2:That's hard, yeah, hard, which was a sitting in the basement and you know, fucking play with blocks, who knows. But so we can't figure it out because we are, we live in it, we're not even putting a subculture, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's true, active across the board, and people might even say, despite of no, it's not, it is what it is, and for a year I try to be homeboy. Oh, thank you, oh no.
Speaker 1:You know, you say I used to think that being high it's, it definitely helps, don't get me wrong. But then it's like being hot and five bucks gets me a cup of coffee kind of deal, like it gets you some things. Or maybe it opens doors that I don't see because there was open for me, absolutely yeah, that's really. What it comes down to is that I don't recognize these doors closing in my face, basically like this male content creator stitching a woman who was just detailing what she wants from a man. And what was funny was that, as she's saying all of these things, I recognize that the list of things that she's listing should not have to be on a list. These are just like bare minimum, like able to read, able to hold a conversation as interest. She mentioned that she wanted someone who was a church Christian, because that's what she's in. I think that's actually pretty reasonable, asking for real basic shit.
Speaker 1:And then the guy went off on her, but in a joking way. I think he was joking in the sense that she should be able to get all of these things. But you wouldn't have to ask for these things if they were on offer. That's what's so sad about it, is that you have to say I want no cross out niggas, I don't want to like XYZ, I don't know.
Speaker 1:The more things you put on that list, the fewer people are going to qualify. But at the same time, if this truly is your list of deal breakers, then it also saves you the time of having to date all these people either to figure out which of them is going to fit you. If there are actual deal breakers. The question is do we put things on our list or other people? Do we put things on our list because other people think this is what you should have and therefore I think this is what I should have, because other people think that I should want this, but it's not really what I want. It really is just a reflection of what the people around me think that I should want.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying Because I see that a lot, because I realize at the end of the day. I've heard people say they want a person who's a good conversationalist and I consider myself pretty good at that Like I could talk about most anything except my feelings. As long as I don't have anything to do with me, I could talk about it. But I find that a lot of people who say that are themselves really bad at communicating. Yeah, so is this something that you really want, or is this something that other people have told you that you should want? Maybe this bad communication thing is suitable for you. Not everyone needs a great communicating. I think some people the fewer things the better, because they got shit to say.
Speaker 2:Oh, tyler, I just had a quick conversation about it and it's a roadblock. They put up things, they TV all the way straight. They're connecting them. They'll just curl up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, are they moaning? I'm going to keep doing it, because you do it, you do it yourself, you moan and all of them.
Speaker 2:I was answering a question from Todd and I said but yeah, it was just maybe, but he has no room, this person has no room to judge, and it's just you know virtue, damn it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what sort of advice do you think you would give to someone who is trying to open up their social calendar, either for friends or dating and they are gay men, I would assume in the United States, because I know we have plenty of people overseas but it'd be hard to give them advice over social. It probably would still work. My thing is, I always feel like we always get more social invites than we are willing to go to. We often turn things down. So that's the first thing you have to stop lying to yourself.
Speaker 1:If you feel like you need more social interaction, recognize that you are turning down possible interactions because you assume that it's something that you could be right. You could assume that it's something that you wouldn't like and you very well could be right about the fact that you wouldn't like it. But you don't know unless you try exactly. I'm assuming people know what they like, but in the case of social interaction there are so many unknowns. That's part of what makes it difficult for people, because they found themselves in situations people ask some questions or situations where they're hadn't really planned for and they're not loose enough to just be themselves. They want to follow a script or something. That's part of what makes it difficult, because there's no script.
Speaker 2:I always think you're saying that I know someone who is a self-described introvert. That's a self-described because there is no way in hell that they're into. They want to be introvert because somebody else that we're close to is an introvert. They think it's cool to say I ain't going over here because I don't really like people. That's not your, especially when you pick a career, that all of the things you do for a living cause you to have To be all people.
Speaker 2:If you were a true introvert, you would make career choices. That's a writer, love, love. So yeah, I know introverts. You're a known introvert.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's say that you are an introvert or at the very least, unhappy with your social calendar. What sort of things do you think someone could do differently on a micro level, like individually? Do you invite yourself to things that you're not necessarily invited to? Do you just go show up at a place? That's what I always thought was just show up somewhere. Is it possible Sometimes? So?
Speaker 2:now it's different because you can join, you can make friends on Facebook and extend it to offline so you can get a good feed on the person that you're talking to before you can make sure he's not the killer. It's not like before he may or may not be the killer, I'm not sure. Introverts are cool. Somebody just said a lot of introverts are cool. Introverts are very cool. God bless y'all. Yeah, y'all do that. All that alone shit, all that me shit.
Speaker 3:I get sick of these.
Speaker 2:Look at this. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of you other than you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't see one other thing.
Speaker 2:I live with a lot of people inside me, which is all I should be. I entertain myself, I entertain myself. Sometimes I bore myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now that's something I am finding interesting. I remember talking to someone who saw the Zodiac signs as his gymnast. He had a full Zodiac 12 people oh my Jesus, I know. Like that's how much he was into the Zodiac signs. It's like my Aries is coming out, my Virgo's here, whatever, he would just start. And the funny thing is, of course, every Zodiac sign can apply to everyone. That's the reason why I was skeptical of it to begin with, but the fact is it's a to me, it is a practice in pattern recognition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when something sounds true, it pops off the page for you, it has meaning for you and so, like people who read horoscopes or astrology books, it leaves out at them as something that's true and no. Actually, I think the fact is that a lot of our knowledge lives in an unsustainated manner. Right, it has no form, it has no container for it to go inside of. Yes, it's bullshit, but it says bullshit as anything is. Eventually, either it will stop working for you or because it'll lead you astray so much that you end up doing stupid shit or it will work.
Speaker 1:There's really no other options. Either it's some gradation of this is going to be horrible, or it's going to work for me, and who am I to say that's stupid? When it's working for them, it doesn't work for me, by God. No, like astrology doesn't work for me at all. But I know plenty of intelligent people who it does work for, and I cannot see them as less than intelligent. Because they look at zodiacs, I think that, well, it's part of it. It's part of their intelligence, one that's different than mine.
Speaker 2:I think, black people, we have to have time to believe in.
Speaker 1:So it's a cool structure. It's a cool structure, I think it is.
Speaker 2:No, I get tired of all of them are like awesome stories.
Speaker 1:I guess you and Jim and I get the Virgo thing now too. I don't know what that's about.
Speaker 2:I thought people love Virgos because Beyonce is a Virgo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but apparently it's not. It's not. It happens like people, especially when it comes to relationships, and X's apparently Virgos like the mark of the beast. Apparently, virgos are horrible partners. Speed.
Speaker 2:Speed has something to say about Virgos.
Speaker 3:The problem with Virgos is your great people organize, see the beauty in most things, but you can also see the flaw within a flaw. So then, when you see a character flaw, you can't let the ship go on it until it becomes miserable for the person that wants to be with you. They want to be with you and they accept the fact that you go to the bathroom. You don't blossom roses in there, but you as a Virgo will see it and it will become this gnawing thing that you continue to pursue until you can try and fix it. They don't need fixing, this is true, this is true.
Speaker 1:If you are a fixer, everything becomes a problem If you're going to type it. It's true. I've never thought about this. It's. What gives me joy is fixing things and making them better. In fact, I think about as a writer. I like writing, I like rewriting, I like going back and tinkering with it. It's better. Nobody else likes that. Nobody likes you to tinker with their shit, though.
Speaker 2:Then you just like, oh, what the fuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. Yeah, that's what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:This is because your nice room doesn't mean anything. Aries suck at it and their mean Virgos think, because their nice and polite with it, that is any better, right.
Speaker 1:We fucking man. Yeah, that's the thing is, I get even more blindsided by the fact that I'm being nice and I get this horrible reaction to it Until I started thinking from their perspective. That's why people doing that to me yes, yes, not myself, in fact. The only thing I can do is just shut up. I can't change it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just redirect that to something else and realize, like they don't want to hear me correct them or help them, they can ask for my help. I have to often say that Because even if you offer the best help in the world, if someone isn't receiving it, at best it's going to be ignored. That's case scenario is that you're going to just ignore it. I've wasted all my time.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you can help in silence.
Speaker 1:I also have to remind myself not to say I told you so after. I have to say that to myself when they finally get it. I told you so to myself. Breathe, move on, but basically keep my mouth shut. I'm learning to do that. Maybe that's the key to being a good communicator sometimes shut up.
Speaker 2:Yes, I've learned that in the last year. So sometimes it's all about listening. The problem of listening Like I can have all the knowledge, I can have the right answer as the person, as my audience, we're ready to receive the answers. I think I said the problem is the situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got one last topic before we go. It's a really big one, so this is almost like a New Year's resolution topic.
Speaker 2:But how long is it going on? At 4 o'clock, how do you go ahead?
Speaker 1:You know it'll only take you like five minutes. In five minutes. Where do you see yourself a year from now? Not like in the terms of a New Year's resolution, Not like an aspirational Greg, Like the actual Greg coming into Christmas 2024, hopefully with a new, without a horrible election result. We're rolling into Christmas where Joe Biden's been elected.
Speaker 2:OK, so Joe Biden has been elected or not? Let's hope he has. The response is different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm assuming that's the outcome that's going to happen. That's a good assumption. It's going to be a struggle. That's a major event. But what other events do you think are going to influence who you are going into 2025? Assuming I live, assuming you live.
Speaker 2:Big one. Yeah, because life is funny like that. You just definitely know 2024. I don't know. I'm really surprised that I'm 50. Because I have an ice cream cake Now. I'm serious, I'm dead ass. I am super shocked. Yeah, years old, you know what I mean. Wow.
Speaker 1:So you get that 58-year-old birthday celebration sometime during the year, maybe Belated 50?.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you remember I missed it right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how are we doing that in 2020? Yeah, hopefully completely healed by the next hope, and so, dude, I'm going to do a whole show on Dumb and have my Therapist and my doctors all on the show. This motherfucker was fucked up. I don't know. No, I don't Probably a lot like the greatness sitting here. I really don't. I really it takes me a couple of years to have change. I just I don't do instantaneous change. So 2024, I should be pretty much the same grade, same. So this year has been pretty. I have a big family, so things always happen. Yeah, like I have a lot of death in my family all the time, because my mother was one of 16, so I have a million first cousins and second cousins. Yeah, my first cousins, the only cousin of Piles of Cousins. I realized it's time to go out. My family's getting smaller.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Smaller, like my mother, was one of 16. My mother has three siblings left.
Speaker 1:Wow yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. And then put my personal family's growing. My nieces and nephews are having kids and you realize I don't know what a motherfucker is. See your family's family's small. You don't know your niece Right now because she's the only one, but you wait to have four or five or six more fuckers. You know what that nigga name is. Oh, is it true? I?
Speaker 1:have three grand.
Speaker 2:And I always forget about the middle one. I'm like I can already remember the oldest and the middle and the youngest, the oldest and youngest. So the middle one gets lost in my nephew. His nephew has a lot of kids. He's buried but a lot of kids. So I said all that to say. But yeah, especially, it seems like as you get older, time elapses quicker because you close it to the grave.
Speaker 1:You have a lot more to relate to your previous lived experience. It just is a smaller unit.
Speaker 2:I do by comparison yeah. I'm not afraid to die. Yeah, I have no longer. That's no longer a fear. Yeah, I just don't want a long, protracted death. Yeah, no, please, can we answer?
Speaker 1:Oh Jesus, I'm existence is probably awesome. Actually, it's like poop Right and it's done.
Speaker 2:You know this is crazy. Yeah, yeah, you know, you know you know you know, you know, you know you know you out of here life. Yeah, because you feel. Yeah, and I'm not saying I'm like I'm grateful, god, please don't give me all that you have for me.
Speaker 2:But yeah, like totally yeah. And I realized that you know I can eat, that I'm gonna get sick and die. I can't go here because what if I get sick and die and fall off the edge of the world? I don't care. Oh my God, because I'm maybe to age. I never thought I would see if I pull in the balance of my time now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think of that truly, like you are what you do on a daily basis in a sense. So when I think of 2024, I'm trying to think of having a good daily routine where I'm working toward my goals within three my book, career wise, like making a little bit more money fixing up the house. Yeah, yeah, I like to do a lot of interviews.
Speaker 2:Actually, we do enjoy each other's company. So, yeah, that would be great. Oh, oh, corporate plans. I want to do some live shows definitely. Yeah right about the things that the changes that I made and 23 we've made. Yes, true the network We've let, we've trusted, and it was worked out well. Yeah, this is true, I'm, even though I'm a micro manager and creative work.
Speaker 1:We both created work for us, right but it's fulfilling and that's where I'm getting at. For me, it's fulfilling because this is information that I could have used at an earlier age, or I feel like this is the reverse of peeing in the pool, I think would say if you don't want a pissy pool, don't pee in the pool. Feel like M3 is like a sponge, pissed, soaking up some of the piss and taking it out. This is a pissy pool, like we as gay men, as younger people, longish, I don't know, we're not that young anymore.
Speaker 2:Knees, that bullshit. Yeah, yeah. I remember my parents were 50 and they seemed so old.
Speaker 1:Yeah, always remind myself that the what is it? The our Archie bunker.
Speaker 2:God Was my fucking Europe bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but he was only 50, apparently by the script of the show, yeah, so the show premieres on his 50th birthday. This interesting is it's a common Parents, by the way, the 50 trope of a series. So they did it for all the family. They did it for breaking bad, they did it for, I think, the Newhart show they did it for, yeah, I know, but it's a very common trope for the idea of middle-aged beginning at age 50 and Having a show of a main, main male character turning 50. I think I told you that Technically is golden, you know.
Speaker 2:I wanted to just fucking click off and go run upstairs like the white girl from scary movie.
Speaker 1:It may not necessarily be like when you turn 50 years old. It could be when you hit your 50th wedding anniversary. That's your golden anniversary, which is undone. I thought about that with. Was it the Carter's? Roslyn Carter just died last Sunday. They were married 76 years, 77 years. It was a long fucking time.
Speaker 2:Hospital I won't give me some more pussy right quick for that.
Speaker 1:I think they were at home. They had a. You got their hospice at home. I actually visited their house. They had a. I want to. I want to. What's so cool about it is he is a voracious reader, yeah so he so like he just had a bunch of used books that you could buy. This was once owned by Jimmy Carter. This is Awesome old Daniel steel novels.
Speaker 2:Do you? I just want to say Jimmy Carter, fucking rep is.
Speaker 1:It was not bad either. It says where are the children? It was actually a really good book to Daniel, still as a murder mystery of this woman whose children went missing and she was being accused of Making getting rid of her kids yeah, which is super disturbing when you think about it. It is not only are your kids missing, but you're the prime suspect.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I get. Oh, I want to know you. It will make you a better person if you have children. No, it'll make you a broker person if you have children. Yes, I'm not come on, I'm about to shoot because Fuck it. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think yeah, cuz I'm telling you what do it if I enjoy, I wouldn't have any, I wouldn't have had I know like I was one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know what made my brother changes mine, but I'm glad he did and Mainly because none of my relatives asked me, I'm gonna forget now looking at your mother's face changes.
Speaker 2:Think of the fact. Okay, well, I'm truly honest my brother's gay. I Can't do this someone at all. You know me. Yeah, that's true. What changes your mind? That's what changed my mind. I was like, oh yeah, Damn existence. Like it did, and I felt Like our relationship was round was whole.
Speaker 1:That's a good point. Yeah, they pretty much talk every day now that my niece is around because she wants to see her.
Speaker 2:Mother feels like she got to see the next generation. Yeah her DNA will last she in 2089, some remnants of her being on this earth will still be other than her name, recording some old deeds and stuff like that. Yeah, fortunately, I think about this all the time that I'm young enough to see my great, great.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I.
Speaker 2:Don't know, some days I get a date I'm like whoops, it's for the birds. But yeah, we'll see. Yeah, because like my oldest is six, so you know, technically when it gets about 20, yeah, that's not that.
Speaker 1:Long from now You'll be 65 when he's tapping kids before. Yeah, don't give me any other extra.
Speaker 2:You can look and I just wonder Hmm, aging is really hard on the body. We'll talk about this later, but aging is really hard on the body. In the mind it's it is a tea. Start to hurt, but why? Yeah, you're low. Why is that hurt? Listen, there's nothing there. Why the fuck is that hurt?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know this. I started feeling things of my my knees, like I have a knee pain, and at first I thought it was the joint. So I started taking the glucose mean and I realized it was the tendons around the joint. So like where the muscle connects to the knee, like behind the knee Was all tense and stuff and I realized I just need to stretch some more. I got it was just funny to have pain in places I didn't know existed. So then and then.
Speaker 2:I got. I Was 40 when I had my first bout of vertigo.
Speaker 3:Hmm.
Speaker 2:I thought I would just fucking die. I didn't know what it was.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, is it the hospital idea? But I was in a hospital a week. They're like we don't know what's wrong with you. It's not this Indian doctor, remember? I tell the story. I caught Harris's house, yeah, first About I've had a vertigo and so I. Now I take all kind of ear, yeah, nose, ear and throat mouth situations and I'm just really Careful 87 people watching the old string Wow, this is really amazing because you, because some most time people get on here and just talk bullshit and I'm really Happy and engaged for actual conversation and content and nobody has said put your dick out. That is surprising to me, yeah, yeah. I don't know why I can't get you guys to come on over to join us at male media mine on YouTube and Facebook you can do that and hit the subscribe button. You can see all our lovely shows. So it's a little pimpin, pimpin, yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to another episode of the M3 Bearcast. If you would go ahead and become a patron at patreoncom slash mail media mine, you'll gain access to the recording as we're recording live, as well as an early version of the podcast as a video. We also have aftershows from all our live streams. We have five currently. Greg has one on Saturday at noon and I have one Wednesday at seven. Thank you so much for listening and we will catch you in the next episode. Peace you.